Learning to Be Okay With Lonely

By Makenna Sturgeon on September 19, 2017

I came into college with very, very high expectations. I expected to meet the love of my life, my best friend, and my favorite professor all within one week. To say the least, absolutely none of that happened. I actually found myself by myself a lot more than I had expected. I thought I was okay with that, but for some reason I felt oddly out of place.

Everyone had already made friends, and they were going out to party. There were groups eating lunch together while I sat alone. There were people making plans for the weekend while I mulled over my planner to check out my work schedule in accordance to my homework list. I was lonely. Terribly, terribly lonely is an understatement. I felt like there was something wrong with me. I didn’t want to party, so that crowd wasn’t for me, and I hadn’t really been invited into any other group of friends, so I sat by myself and did my homework while I thought about everyone else going out.

It took me a few days to see why I was lonely. I didn’t mind the act of being alone; in fact, I liked it. It was the expectation that had gone wrong in my head. I didn’t have a best friend, so something must be wrong. I didn’t have a cute boy to be in love with, so something must be wrong. I didn’t find a favorite professor, so I must be doing something absolutely wrong.

That wasn’t true. Life takes time. Finding a friend that you can trust is going to take time. Finding a boy to love, that will happen when it needs to. And the perfect professor will come into life at the right moment.

So, when you’re feeling out of place, or wrong, know you’re not alone. Moving is hard. You’re not in your own space anymore, your friends aren’t with you either. Life is completely different, and that’s a good thing! There is nothing wrong with it going a little differently than planned, and keep going with this adventure. I swear, it gets better.

Not all of us can be blessed with the skill to “get in with the cool kids” and that’s not bad either. For now, enjoy your place. Find a way to make eating alone fun. Love your homework time, and remember that it’s important. Meet new people, and try not to have an expectation for them. Learn to be okay with being lonely; it’s actually quite refreshing.

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